Hmm, how to say this?
Today, I quit my job and, for the first time in a year and a half, I feel like I can breathe again!
There is so much that I could say, but much of it doesn’t merit saying, and it’s not my place to go digging for dirty laundry to air–but if you want to know, by all means ask (see the nifty contact email on the right-hand column).
What does merit saying, however, is that it’s a momentous occasion in that I’ve finally put my own professional happiness first. It makes me feel like I damn well OWN the five inch heels I wore today to big myself up and make my announcement at work.
Now that I’ve quit, I can also come squeaky clean about why there’s been less sewing (despite the obvious sewing obsession) and chattiness–which I hope you didn’t notice too much–over the last few months. Since I came back from the States at Christmas, I’ve been working my regular job during the day and coming home to do a freelance, very flexible news-writing gig every evening for 2-3 hours.
Though 2 to 3 hours may not seem like a lot (and I know plenty of people who put in way more time on overtime work than that), the job has completely chomped off my sewing/hanging out/experimental cooking/revising blog for wittiness time. I even worked while I was in Puerto Rico a few weeks ago, after everyone had gone to sleep, from 1 am to 3 am most nights–hence the more picture-heavy posts (and insane amounts of black coffee) during my trip.
This situation was driving me crazy, sleepless, and stressed, and by the time the writing gig started at nights, I had zilch left in me to enjoy what would otherwise be an awesome little gig–and a gig that was exactly and 100% what I had been wanting to do my whole life (even more than being a Fashion Designer-slash-Engineer when I was seven or a professor of Renaissance English literature when I was in college) and could potentially do great professional things for me.
I was petrified of leaving a job to take a chance on a maybe thing, because that’s not what good girls with sound judgment and a strong work ethic do (though really, the work ethic thing has been my bitch the last three months–run-work-cook-work-blog-collapse have been my MO lately). I mean, really, what would my mother say?
Truth be told, my mamalicious would just want me to be happy. It’s my thinking that’s the problem. However, it’s about time I give myself a break and learn to be less strict and practical on myself and, more importantly, take risks on things that could make me happy. I don’t do the risk thing unless backed up against a wall. Wall, meet Back. Discuss amongst yourselves (I’ll give you a topic: the relative merits of Cuban vs. Puerto Rican coffee.)
And if the current awesome freelance thing falls through? I’ll still think that quitting was the absolute best thing I could have done for myself, as that admin door needed to be slammed shut and locked behind me, for all the happiness it gave me. And I’ll find other ways to keep myself entertained (and in sewing supplies, swimsuits, and sneakers) and in service to this world.
There’s news to be reported, dogs to be rescued, and herbariums that need my volunteer luvin’. I make dresses and long blog posts and, from here on in, I make my own opportunities, too.
The excitement of the day has left me useless for remembering to do important things like taking pictures of my post-swim corn soup, or for remembering to mention that I ran three “You’re gonna quit today, gyal!” miles this morning (four were planned, but the post-migraine exhaustion is still hanging around, as is a giant cloud of hot dust–not great for running).
The excitement of the day also made me forget to iron my shirt, which I hope you can’t notice:
Top (the lucky top!) from Zara in England (I paid 25 pounds for it in 2005 and it is therefore the most expensive top I own, but I’ve gotten five years of service from it and still love it, so it’s a definite steal). It’s lost a bit of its shape, but it’s still good, though not for playing coconut catch outside.
With said excitement of the day, I had to concentrate really hard to wrap up my freelance work because the Mr. and I are heading out to celebrate his birthday last week and my newfound happiness. Celebrations will involve copious amounts of noteworthy Indian food, a standing-room only dress worn with sitting-room only heels, and drinks in pretty colors.
I’ll try to be back tomorrow with a full account before my Mexican dinner party…. But if I don’t, rest assured it’s because I had too great of a time (and because the Mexican dinner party is getting my undivided culinary attention).
Filed under: Dressing well |